The woman who has been to hell n back is not easy to love.Many have tried. Most have failed.The weak need not attempt, for it will take more strength than u even know;more patience, more resilience, more tenacity, more resolve. U can’t be easily defeated.For the woman who has been to hell n back will push u away. She will test u in her desire to knw wat ur made of, whether u have wat it takes to weather her storm. Bc she’s unpredictable—at times a hurricane, a force of nature that rides on the fury of her suffering; other times a gentle rain, calm, still &quiet.
Wen she’s the gentle rain that falls in time to her silent tears, love her.Wen she’s the thunder lightning & ferocious winds that wreak havoc, love her harder.Shes a contradiction, a pendulum that will forever swing btwn fear of suffocation & fear of abandonment. Bc today, although she’ll never tell u, she’ll feel insecure. She’ll want u to stay so close, to tuck her hair behind her ear & kiss her on her forehead & hold her in the strength of ur arms. But tomorrow she’ll crave her independence, her space, her solitude.For while u have slept, she has been awake, unable to slow her thoughts, watching clocks & chasing time, trying to make the broken pieces fit, to make sense of it all—of where& how she fits. Tomorrow she’ll be tired & ur presence will smother her, while on other days smooth her. She’ll be fiercely independent & long to overcome her fears. Sometimes she’ll need to be courageous, to prove to herself she has what it takes. Other times she’ll need u to take her hand & hold it firmly in urs. Sometimes she may not know what she needs & u’ll need to read her like a book w worn pages & a tattered spine & be wat she needs. She’ll live in fear of not being enough & always being too much—an endless battle to find the middle ground. Ashamed if the scale falls one way or the other, ashamed to be herself for no one has ever loved her both when she is small & also when she is tremendous.Sometimes she won’t hurt and the light will shine from her eyes & her laughter will be a rare &precious melody. But sometimes she’ll hurt so much from the trauma still in her body; she’ll ache, ... (cont in 1st comment)
As you get older, you really just want to be surrounded by good people. people that are good for you, good to you and good for your soul. And as you grow, you see that the best feeling comes when you realize you're perfectly happy being single because single doesn't always mean lonely and a relationship doesn't always mean happy. The truth, I wasn't happy the last 2years. I held on tight to that feeling I️ had from the first year. Don’t get me wrong , I might have been dating my "best friend” but there was zero romance the last two years, and it felt so cold and I️ felt so alone. I didnt feel beautiful. I didn’t feel wanted. I didn’t feel special & I️ didnt feel safe. I think what hurts me the most about getting cheated on is I thought our bond, our friendship was stronger than what it turned out to be. Because at the bare minimum a best friend keeps it real even if it hurts you, they don't hide and do things behind your back just to mess with your reality n destroy you. It was wrong what he did, to get a ring, talk about getting a house to everyone, getting my family and his involved when he was talking to another girl behind me. A bad person does that. Not a friend. I️ wouldn’t even wish that to my enemy. But God allowed me to catch him, otherwise who knows, he woulda had her and me too, I would have said, "I Do" to a liar and my world would have fallen apart. Everything happens for a reason. I'm where i'm supposed to be. I'm surrounded by real people and I'm happy. Finally , I️ feel happy everyday & that’s how I️ want to live everyday of my life, in pursuit of happiness. #FriendsGiving was a success!!! yay! No better feeling than to be yourself 💕 so live laugh & love I️ AM JESSENIA #funfact VIRGOS make the best relationships but they are the only zodiac that can survive alone.
My nephews have off today so I️ was like waaaaaht?!? Okay movie date & lunch & some school clothes shopping !!!! They asked if we could watch Thor. And even though I️ seen it already, I️ said HELL YEA!! Anything for them ! Thnk God it was a kick ass movie !!! My loves of my life. Man how I️ missed them. But Tia Jessey been moving working on big projects. So just wait on it, family vacation soooon
22 30185:37 PM Nov 10, 2017
The Bare Truth. She's a soldier, capable of holding her own; she doesn't expect much from people, she's used to giving, she allows only a selected few in her world, knows a lot of people but only a small handful of friends. she's determined and will always do what needs to be done; she's been wronged others but it okay, cuz it's helped her become great. She might seem cold and dis attached, she's just aware and has learned from past not to just give her heart to just anyone. She adores her family and will do anything and everything for them, but don't be jealous, one day you will be her number one too. Her heart is big and underneath all those layers, lies a real woman, a good woman, a strong, passionate woman with the great capacity for strong devoted love. She will play hard to get, bc she is hard to get for she is worried about exposing her emotional vulnerability and getting hurt yet again. She requires patience and you will have to court her and work hard to impress her. Not with lavishness but realness, humor, mind stimulating conversation, make her feel special and safe, she'll open n warm up. Just know that no matter how strong and independent she is, she still is a woman who needs someone just as strong, giving and devoted as she. She is loyal, she can make you happy, she will even bring a little order in your life, and she will even push you to greatness so dont let your ego get the best of you because she's looking for a partnership, a friendship and a lover. She wants a man to mirror all her hard work, all her passions and all her drive. I️ AM JESSENIA